I'm back

It's  been way too long since blogging, maybe I can get and stay in the groove.  Lots of things have happened, I'm still working hard at what I believe God has purposed my life to accomplish.  This has been the hardest job ever second to being a mother. I continue to push through the dissapoitments, discouragement, and defeat giving God the glory as I run this race. 
If I had been told after going through all I have that I would be in the situation I am in today I wouldn't believe it. 
Today feels alot like waking up in Little Rock after the doctors at Mercy couldn't figure out what was going on.  It was cold, I was hurting, and all alone.  There was chaos and seem like everything was going in slow motion. I was so scared of what was happening, but more so that I didn't have control over anything.  I could see my legs, hips, feet, arms and hands but they were heavy and uncontrollable no matter what I did I couldn't get my body function. What made this worse was how concerned the doctor was. His face had question marks everytime he entered my room.
After wrestling with every thought that came to mind with no avail I remember saying, "God Almighty do You see this?  Really this is happening after everything that has happened in my life? Why?" I wish I could say He answered me, and everything is great but that is not the case. There have been many times since then I felt like I was close to the answer, and then there are days like today, I feel like I will never know the answer and how none of it make sense. 
Scripture helps me one in particular is Job.  Some things I'm reminding myself of today is He has never left me alone  Heb. 13:5 He will instruct you and teach you the way you should go  Psalm 32:8. In my case I have to have exhausted everything I know to do that's when I'm ready to obey Him. I've learned God's character in the dark, cold nights, I'm burdened, full of fear there He draws me to Himself. As I ponder my own personal future, I see some things clearly while other things are a mystery to me. Then I remember what Job said. “He knows the way that I take; when he has tried me, I shall come out as gold” (Job 23:10). He knows the way that I take even when I don’t. He knows the way that I take even when I can’t see clearly.

Looking back, we find it easy to count our blessings and to see the hand of the Lord moving on our behalf.  So much has happened that we did not expect, we have to keep on going "it's all good"